sometimes I don't wanna have

Patience. So everyone always talks about how much patience is a virtue. How good it is to be patient. That good things come to those who patiently wait. I even use it when people are waiting on me to do something that isn't done and say something to the tune of "Be patient, it's coming..." Everyone wants some sort of patience to be exercised in their life at some point in time. But you know what? If I'm honest, I don't always necessarily like patience. Patience is hard. Patience sometimes means that I have to lay down something for the sake of others, keep doing the same things even though the result doesn't appear right away, or wait to get something that I want. Or I may have a feeling like whatever I'm hoping for isn't going to happen. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes that roommate gets on my LAST nerve and I want to pop them in the jaw if they say one more thing, snore one more night, or eat another pack of my gushers without asking! (I'm praying that I don't have that reaction though:-) I mean, I want what I want when I want it, and don't want to sacrifice for the good of others all the time, but if it's really something that's good for me, shouldn't I at least try to something that's good for me?
We all have opportunities to be patient. Whether it's giving up our space in line, holding the door, not ranting while in traffic, or weighty things like praying for that friend that looks like he/she will never change, we always have opportunities for patience to be worked in us. But the question is, will we allow it to work in us where we don't have a negative reaction to a hard situation? I know I have done things in the name of "patience" only to grumble because I wanted my will to be the final outcome.
Recently, I have been looking at the life of Jesus, and trying to model my life after his. In my last blog, I talked about how he lived his life everyday and honored doing the mundane things in life. He lived his every day life for his first 30 years doing day to day things, not really doing anything spectacular, making tables and furniture and stuff. Spending time with his family, learning from his heavenly and earthly father, and developing relationships. And he did all this while knowing that one day soon his time would come to walk in all that God had for him. He took the very nature of a servant even though he knew he was destined to be the greatest man ever born. He probably knew of all the miracles he was going to do: the healings, feeding scores of people, walking on water (which is pretty stinkin cool), but he still chose to make sure that he was ready for what he was going to do and in the right time, chose to reveal himself. In addition to that, he dealt with alot of people that were out to get him, he dealt with haters saying stupid stuff about him without any reason, and with friends (disciples) who made bad decisions, and betrayed him. I'm sure he wanted to smack Peter upside the head a few times because of the stuff he said, and still didn't, and again for that, Jesus is a much better man than I. And yet he was still overflowing with love and served them even to death. Wow. If anyone exuded patience, it was him. And he did it because he loved the people that he was around, and the ones he served.
And of course that got me to thinking, maybe patience is a virtue because it causes us to love others. It really shows that we can put others needs before ours. It helps us to get through the feelings of injustice that we feel if things don't go our way. It gives us hope when we feel like nothing ever going to happen, that just like Jesus did, that in the right timing, we can trust God that he will supply all or our needs. UGH! I need more patience because I am definitely not there yet! (but still marching for that prize). Jesus really loved others and he laid his life down for others, even in the simple things, and grew into all that God wanted him to be. And if it's good enough for Jesus, its definitely more than good enough for me.
So my prayer for this one (and I didn't write this one, it's right out of the fellowship prayer book, by Mike Bickle, I'm still getting there...ha ha, patience...):
Father, strengthen my inner man with endurance (patience), that I may do your will with zeal and diligence, and that I might not quit pursuing the deep things of God. Direct my heart into the patience in which Jesus walked. Give me strength to follow through in my commitments to you and to fulfill my calling, even in the small things, even when it's difficult. In Jesus name.

Aiight y'all! Send me those comments, and prayer requests! I know what I'm praying to receive! ha ha! and if you feel like it, hit that donate button to give a tax deductible donation of any denomination. Big love!